Death - No one is Immune
It is said that death is the great leveller. That no matter who you are, rich or poor, believer or unbeliever, everyone must pass through the narrow gate. And thus it is with spiritualists. Being a spiritualist will not lessen the sting of your own passing or the loss of someone dear to you. One might conclude that foreknowledge of the spirit-world might make things easier and in many ways it does and in many other ways it does not.
Back in the day, for example, in the 1950’s before the internet, email, inexpensive flights, mobile phones and all the modern conveniences that we take for granted. For ordinary people, international communication consisted of letters or very expensive telephone calls that one would have to arrange in advance with an operator. Back then if a family member moved to Australia, one might grieve as if they were dying. They had knowledge of Australia and had seen it on maps and my have gone there if they were in the armed forces and it made not a jot of difference. The likelihood of seeing their loved one again was next to zero as the expense was so high. And as for speaking to them, one would have to rely on letters and phone calls that would barley give a glimpse of their lives.
But why grieve? They are just in Australia. They are safe and happy.
But why grieve? They are just in the spirit-world. They are safe and happy. … And you may see them again.
Spiritual mediums, in telecommunications terms, may be the equivalent of an ontological operator, but such spirit communication is insufficient to allay grief, fear, doubt and much more besides. One might conclude that a spiritualist or spiritual medium might know things for certain, but the human heart does not work on certainties. Spiritualists grieve like everyone else no matter their faith.
None of us are immune. We all will or have experienced significant loss and will eventually pass beyond the veil. Be at piece with this and accept your own grief as well as the grief of others. It is part of being a human and a spiritualist. Convincing oneself otherwise is merely a psychological defence, a rationalisation.
Life is what it is, and one must do what one must do. And therein lies the rub. One cannot allow oneself, especially as a spiritual medium to become buried under the weight of loss and grief. Whilst one must not dismiss it, there is a need not to get stuck and instead process it.
Spiritual Mediums, help others with their grief and their ability to process it and not get stuck.
June 2026
The man in the pictures is Carlos Viktor, Suzanne’s husband. As many are aware, he has Metastatic Prostate Cancer, that is, stage 4 terminal cancer. In 2025, after months of pain and becoming bedbound, followed in December by a month in hospital, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Unless there is divine intervention, his fate is sealed. Then, in the new year, 2026, with the support of Suzanne, he proceeded to suffer through five months of harsh chemotherapy along with hormone therapy. ‘The Triple’ as it is known in prostate cancer care. The plan was to exchange an amount of time and suffering for a chance at a semi-normal existence before having to walk the final path. He lost his hair, suffered polyneuropathy, could not walk properly, became incontinent and emotionally unstable. He was humbled and lost his spark for life. And Suzanne was there for all of it, both as witness and participant. (Carlos Viktor will not mind the reveal, as he is a storyteller himself and is happy to share, especially if it is of use to others).
I am not telling you this for sympathy, but instead to remind you that Suzanne, like you, is a real person, living a real life. There is a need for compassion and understanding towards your own pain and suffering, as well as the pain and suffering of others. Not indulgence, or pity, but a true compassion born out of acceptance and understanding. You are no less worthy than the people you serve, and they are no less worthy than you. And in relation to others, we display and discover our true selves.
Suzanne Loves her husband, and in 2025, she lost him for the first time. Previously, a very capable person. He became much less than he was, a shadow of himself, consumed by pain, disability and medication. And on top of that, he almost died twice. Now that he is stabilised … for now … and he is returning to much of his old self, Suzanne and Carlos Viktor are truly grateful to God, but Suzanne knows that she will lose him again, one final time. This is something she must carry as the cost of Loving another person.
Given that loss and pain are ultimately the measure of the depth of your relationships. Would you choose not to suffer? Would you choose to protect yourself rather than dive into a friendship or a partnership?
Queen Elizabeth II: “Grief is the price we pay for love.”
Carlos Victor finds his new incarnation as a cancer patient under palliative care very strange. It is very different to what he once was. Chemotherapy, hormone therapy and a strict regimen of pills and injections are completely alien to a man who prided himself on his good health, never having ridden in an ambulance or stayed in a hospital, and especially, he did not take medication. But what is most disconcerting to him is knowing that his cancer will kill him. That he knows he will die, how he will die and approximately when. Nothing is certain, and he hopes for a better death, but in truth, he must face what he must face, and he cannot give that cup to another, nor would he. It is the life gifted to him by God, and he will live it to its end as best he can. However, his most significant concern is not that he will die, but that he will abandon Suzanne. He deeply regrets that.
He also thinks that in the picture of Suzanne and him, he looks like a tortoise. What do you think?
Be of good cheer. Like you, despite it all, Carlos Viktor is just living his life as best he can.
Carlos Viktor is a videophile… So here is a movie quote from the film Gladiator that he will appreciate:
Proximo: “Ultimately, we’re all dead men. Sadly, we cannot choose how [or when], but what we can decide is how we meet that end, in order that we are remembered, as men [and not found wanting by God].”
"Quod facis, fac bene." - "Whatever you do, do it well."
Life is often difficult, but as Spiritualists and as Mediums, we have obligations to God, Spirit and others beyond family, friends and ourselves. It is difficult, but the obligation and work are always there. That is not to say that Spiritualism requires us to disregard ourselves or our family and friends, nor is it for self-aggrandisement. We are in service, which requires submission; we need to meet that obligation as best we can and, in so doing, also trust in God and Spirit. We can place in the hands of God all those things that are beyond us, knowing that he will carry us when we stumble. We are not alone. We are watched over. Furthermore, you can lean on other decent spiritualists and seek guidance from them.
Suzanne has spent decades helping people find their way as spiritualists and mediums, and in their lives and relationships generally. We are people, and all these things are connected.
Remember, we are not infallible… Do your best to do your best.
Finally, since Suzanne has a deep abiding love for the mystics, here is a quote that she will appreciate:
St. Teresa of Avila:
“My Lord, it is time to move on. Well then, may your will be done.”